Interpersonal relationship skills like any
other skill, can be learnt, acquired,
and developed. Let’s consider the following together:
Be
genuinely interested in people:
People are touched when they
sense you are genuinely interested in them, and theirs. It is the foundation
for a sustainable interpersonal relationship. Put their interests in focus, and
be willing to give attention to their intentions. You’ll make more friends by being
interested in others than you ever will by trying to get people to be
interested in you. Ask people questions. Talk to others about things they’re
interested in. Put the focus on them. You’ll quickly gain their friendship. If someone is important to you in any
way, tell them so! This goes for any type of interpersonal relationship
including your spouse, kids, employees, co-workers, your friends, family —
anyone!
Be a
good listener
Learn to be a great listener by
being slow to speak. Be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry (James 1:19). Someone said that listening is 90% of communication. Of course
hearing is not the same as listening. Active listening means we take an active
role in communicating. Hearing on the other hand is a function of our
physiology. Active listening requires the listener to care about what the other
person is saying...that is a requirement for good relationships.On the other hand, avoid dominating a conversation, or overwhelming
your listener with too many words. Ecclesiastes 6:11 says; The more the words,
the less the meaning, and how does that profit anyone?
Avoid Criticism,
Condemnation Or Complaining About People.
There’s no faster way to create resentment toward you than to criticize or
complain about a person. Instead of telling people they’re doing something wrong,
consider asking them questions to try to find out why they do what they do.
Offer them an alternative in a way that comes across as trying to help. Show
them how doing things the way you would like them done can benefit them or lead
to reward.
Appreciate
And Commend People
Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so
that you may know how to answer everyone (Colossians 4:6). Build
others up with your words, don't tear anyone down. If you’re normal, you’re probably very quick to notice things you don’t
like about people. Maybe you sometimes even let people know when you don’t like
something. If you start appreciating the good things others are doing, they are
much more likely to give you more good things to appreciate. Just make sure
your appreciation is genuine. You might have heard this saying when you were
growing up: “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.”
Wise advice!
Seek To
Add Value To People
Always look out for what you can do for others to make them better.
Become an improvement agent!
Counsel
Constructively
Look for areas to help people do better, and become better. Express this
through words and examples.
Admits When
You Are Wrong
You can really harm your interpersonal relations if you refuse to admit
when you’re wrong. It’s frustrating for others and it damages their trust in
you. If you’re wrong, or you made a mistake, admit it. This will quickly clear
the air and allow everyone to move on. If you approach someone in anger, their defenses immediately go up and your discussion will go nowhere. If you have a
problem with someone that needs to be sorted out, approach that person calmly.
Ask them if you can sit down with them to work on an amicable solution for both
of you. Everyone thinks more clearly when they’re calm.
